...Finding balance...

Ever feel so swamped and overwhelmed with tasks that you feel like you'll never catch up?  I moved from career mom to stay at home and work from home mommy.  I love what I do, working as a coordinator for Mommy Bag Marketing, Inc. (http://www.mommybagmarketing.com/) This transition has caused me to re-evaluate how I spend my days and balance being a supportive wife and mom, business owner, and still get in exercise and the activities I enjoy like writing or reading. I am not a perfect keeper of my schedule, but when a curve ball is thrown at me, I can still manage to get a base hit. Or as my husband says, "Roll with the punches."

Below are some of the techniques I have used to help me find a bit of sanity in a world of a husband, five kids, two dogs, and a business in its infant stages.

1. Let go of controlling the things you cannot control.  'It' will happen, you can't control it, so just "roll with the punches"!
2.  Don't forget to make and take time for you each day.  Write it in your schedule  if you have to! Enjoy a warm bath, read a chapter in your favorite book with some  hot tea, go for a walk or run. In addition to you, take some time to spend with your family.  Designate a game night, sit down to a meal together.  I have made a goal to sit down at least four nights a week, as a family, for dinner.  You will notice a difference in your family when you're able to stop, relax, and just spend some time with them.
3. Write down a daily schedule and stick to it.  What are the Six Most Important Things you have to get done on any given day?  Write them down, then schedule time for yourself to get them done. Once you've accomplished each of these, cross it out.  Crossing out a task in itself creates a sense of accomplishment, and when the end of the day comes and you feel as though you didn't accomplish all that you wanted to, look at that list of six things that you crossed off.  You'll instantly feel better!
4. Plan your errands.  We are all in a gas money pinch these days.  If you know that you have to make multiple stops, organize them in a big circle so that your trip is most efficient and timely.
5. Involve your family in your tasks and delegate them.  I have a four year old who stays home with me while I work. He loves my work and is always eager to get involved, so I give him age appropriate tasks. All of my children have age appropriate chores around the house. They have been taught how to do the chores.  Now, they may not be completely done to my standard, but if I know they have put in 100% and done the best they know how.  Then I am okay with that!  My step-son and step-daughter even take a night to cook dinner. We have ended up with some interesting meals, to make some great stories in the future!  The bottom line, your kids are learning responsibility and some basic domestic skills that they will need when they are on their own.
6. Don't be afraid to ask for help.  I struggle with this, but I am getting better. When my plate just gets too full, I start asking for help where I need it. I guarantee there are at least a handfull of people in your life that are eagerly awaiting a phone call asking for help.  What's even better, they would gladly help any time without wanting a return favor.
7. It's okay to say 'No'.  When you know you have a packed schedule already, with even more than SuperWoman can handle.  Say No, and you don't even have to justify your response.  There is power in being able to say No.  It's almost even liberating.  I have had to say 'no' recently, and it made me feel like I gained a few precious hours back in my schedule!
8. Set your goals, and your steps along with deadlines for getting there.  Setting goals will make scheduling your days and weeks easier, because you have an objective in mind.  Each day is your vehicle for getting there!
9. Get organized.  I am almost too organized to a fault.  I really dislike clutter, so I have decluttered which helps the organizing process!  Find a system that works for you in both your home and your home office.  The system I set up, doesn't just work for me, it works for my family.  I have pulled ideas from various articles, modified them to fit my family's needs, and implemented them.  It all works like a charm, and makes life less insane.
10. The most important, every day, when you get up, before you do anything else.  Give God your day. Spend a few minutes in prayer and in His word.  Recognize that each day is a new day, no matter what is on your agenda for the day, and make it a great day!

There are no secrets to finding balance. However, finding what works for you through some of the strategies I've mentioend will help you accomplish the goals you set out to achieve daily, weekly, and beyond. Perhaps there are some strategies that you have utilized that I have not mentioned, I would love to hear about them! As our kids grow, lifestyles change, there may be a need for a new strategy that fits better in a particular season.  Don't be afraid to try, try, try again.  Most important, be open-minded and don't give up! Life is a highway of fast-moving cars, we are merely trying to keep up. When the lanes of fast moving cars can move harmoniously together, things will go much more smoothly for you. Cheers in your efforts to find balance!

Don't forget...

Be Yourself, Be Extraordinary, Dream Big!

~Stacey

Lesson for smum.

It really has been too long since I last posted.  Could it be that life, once again, has taken over? Actually, it's been a case of the brain dead teenager, and the brain dead parent. These past few months have been an endless struggle to figure out a 14 year old who is trying to figure herself out. If you are or have been in the past, a parent of a teenager, you know exactly what I am talking about. It is amazing to me the amount of mental energy one child can demand...add four on top of that, and you get two brain dead, exahusted parents! Our journey has been interesting, to say the least. Along this journey of day to day parenthood, I keep thinking I am hearing my mother talking, as though she is in the same room.  Then I realized, that's me!  OMGsh, I sound JUST LIKE my mother!  I vowed to myself long ago, before I ever thought I would be a mother that I would never sound like my mother.  Well, here I am, God help me.

My husband and I are raising a blended family of kids two are teenagers, three are single digit ages.  I'd like to believe we communicate quite well, not that we can't improve, but we do a pretty darn good job. This whole raising a teenager thing has thrown us a for a bit of a loop. I walked into my step-daughter's life two years ago next week. I walked into a role, that I never expected to be so challenging, frustrating, tearful, and rewarding all at the same time.  It's funny, because I have always worked with teenagers in my professional life, but I always got to send those hormonal, seemingly self-centered, 'entitled' teenagers home. Don't get me wrong, good kids, different times. I tried to send this one home and when I asked her why she was still standing in my classroom doorway, her response was, "Uhhhh...you're my ride home." SMACK! Reality ran me over with the force of a freight train.

Figuring her out, the best we can is getting better, but we are definitely living one day at a time.  My husband and I have decided to give her more freedom to make choices that will define who she is.  Not an easy thing to do, friend.  But the difference that our household has experienced in the last two weeks has been night and day!  My step-daughter's step is lighter, smile is brighter, and willingness to participate in family events or help around the house is greater.  We have empowered my step-daughter, we are less frustrated. It has been a struggle to identify with my step-daughter, who has been raised by her dad, lacked a solid female role-model, and is rough and tumble. In an effort to build a relationship and tear down another wall, I have decided to take her out once a month to try a new, agreed-upon, activity together.  We are taking turns choosing the activity each month.  I'm excited to see the outcome and how our relationship develops.  Doesn't mean I'll like the activity, or that she will, but we are at least opening the the window that allows each other to peer inside our personalities. Watch for future posts on these adventures!

Have you ever been in that situation where you are about to embark on an unknown journey and you receive warnings as you are about to take off, "This won't be easy." All the while, never having any real idea of what "won't be easy" means? Then, you take off, speeding full force ahead.  I didn't know what to expect when I married my husband, and became smom to two teenagers.  I have learned so much about who I am as a parent and that God has entrusted a HUGE job to me: to be an active mom in the life of my 14 year old step-daughter.

To those of you whom have embarked on this same journey or are about to, the road will be bumpy, there will be tears, but I promise you, in the end, you will be far more blessed than you could ever even imagine!

For my readers who are Stepmoms, follow the link to an community of stepmoms. These stepmoms are often affectionately referred to as Smom (Smum).  Heather has a great story, I encourage you to read it, and join the community of Smoms! http://www.cafesmom.com/

Be Yourself, Be Extraordinary, Dream Big....

 - Stacey

My blessings on the day our family became one....

Selfish or Servitude?

When I set out on this journey, I didn't expect the fire I'd be walking through. I have encountered challenge after challenge, refinement, and growth. With that being said, despite my occasional questioning: "God is this REALLY what I am supposed to be doing." An answer is always near. Perhaps not in the way I would expect, but in a way that quiets my restless mind and puts a peace in my heart.

In these past couple of weeks, I have learned a new larger than life lesson of selfishness versus serving, which has been quite impactful on my children and husband. I have come to realize the sadness and lack of awareness for others that clouds thought, vision, and feeling when ones life is enrobed in selfishness. The 'me first' attitude that despite the immediate gratification in getting what one wants right away, in the long run, hurts those we love most. There is no win in selfish attitude. Where is the lasting joy? It doesn't exist.

Instead, I choose to turn from the selfish. I realize, more and more, with each new dawn, the joy that I feel when I am serving others in my community, in my circle of friends, in my neighborhood, and in my family. Some that know me, might say, well, you were serving as a classroom teacher. No, no. That wasn't it and just didn't bring me the kind of joy that I feel in the depths of my soul today and hope to continue to feel in the future; not just one day or one week from now, but one year, five years, ten years from now. I am not sure exactly what that looks like and I may not know for some time. Yes, it is a scary journey, a financial burden when trying to support a family of seven on one income. What a blessing my husband is! On another note, I say servitude in my title, because serving comes with an attitude. Attitude of selfish desire or attitude of joy. When serving with an attitude of joy, one can have a lasting impact on another's day or even life. I may not always want to serve and question it, but I know that when I serve with a selfish attitude, it NEVER goes over well.

God calls us to walk in Faith. To listen, and obey, as I often tell my children; why shouldn't I heed my own advice? As I walk down the path of this journey, I recall that I am a servant and a gift giver. I realize that there isn't much that brings me more joy than being able to serve others in a capacity that fills a need that they desire in some form or another. I don't want anything in return, because I get it in the response from those I serve. My return comes in the form of a tear, a smile, a hug, a handshake. I believe that because I am so servant minded, it hurts my heart even more when I encounter those who are so self-absorbed and selfish. It hurts even more when it becomes personal.

Out of this big picture come two more lessons: forgiveness and standing strong as a servant. First, forgiveness. We are called by God to forgive others, forgiving can be extremely hard to do. Over a period of nine years now, I have been continuously hurt by someone whom I thought was near and dear to me. It has taken me quite some time to realize that this wasn't the case, and to come to terms with the need to forgive this person of the hurt they have caused me. I am now challenged with probably one of the hardest things, at this point, I have ever had to do. Emotions run raw and deep. As part of this lesson, I have learned to stand up for myself, become a strong woman of God, and realize my value. I can still serve others, but I don't have to be a doormat. I liked to think I was a strong individual growing up, independent, and able to survive on my own. I realize though, that I am not as strong as I thought. I LOVE that each day, I am growing stronger and learning what being a strong servant looks like.

I never imagined that when I set out on this journey, that I would learn so much about myself as a person. I would be forced to look at myself from the inside out. I would be forced to look deep within my heart of hearts. There is some pretty gross 'stuff' in there, but I will tell you, that I have spotted some very lovely 'stuff' too, and I can't wait to see what blossoms! I know that despite the heartache, tears, and even the victories, I am at peace with what I am doing now and where I am supposed to be. I may never know why, but the joy that stirs my heart tells me it will be good!

I invite you to follow me on my journey, leave your thoughts about your own journey, or just a comment or note. Which will you choose? Selfish or Servitude?

Until next time...
...Be Yourself, Be Extraordinary, Dream Big...

Stacey

...are things REALLY as bad as they seem?...

Last week I was, let's say, gently reminded of the fact that when I may feel that things are going way wrong, life is tough, and when will it get better? They're just not as bad as they seem. I had one of those weeks where when it rains it pours. My Jeep is breaking piece by piece, well, motor by motor (transmission among other parts) and serious hail damage, house needs some major and minor repairs, kids' schools want activity fees for each kid, kids are being kids, my husband broke his foot again, and I am unemployed trying to make a go of my own business with HUGE hopes and dreams. I constantly asked myself, when will it end?


Then, I find out that the girl who is speaking at a business meeting with such great words of inspiration, who has so much passion for her work, and can instantly say something or tell a story so funny you'll pee your pants, has been fighting cancer. The family next door just lost BOTH incomes almost three weeks ago, with no jobs in this area that are promising. The sweet customer who is so excited about setting up an appointment with me but hasn't been able to because her mom had a stroke earlier this summer and then turned right around to bury her adult daughter who is my age. In an instant, my life and my struggles seem so trivial! I am quickly reminded that just when I think I have been having a rough go of things, that somewhere, someone has it much worse than me.


Why do we allow ourselves to get our heads buried so deep in the sand that we forget to rely on God, Who is All Knowing, Who knew that we would be going through these trials before we ever encountered them, and Who will never give us more than we can handle? What a test of strength and perseverance! We don't have to take any of those tests alone! I can always say, on the backside of these tests that I am thankful for them because they shape who I am and push me in the direction that I need to go on this journey.


When life throws you a curve ball, step back, get a grip and pull yourself up by your bootstraps, and remember this perspective. Thank God for the trial, persevere, you will come out on the other side a different person.


Finally, even in the face of trial, don't forget to Believe in Yourself, Be Extraordinary, Dream Big...



Stacey

..to setting GOALS...

...Say What?!...

My mind has been littered with thoughts, curiousity, and emotion, which is partially the reason for my lack of weekly blogs lately. How does one sort those thoughts out? Some would say exercise, others would say journaling or 'brain dumping'. Do you ever get so deep in your thoughts that you're virtually alone, even though you're surrounded by crowds of people? Many of my thoughts revolve around the goals that I have set for myself in my new journey.

I attended a seminar several weeks ago presented by Allison Lamar, (http://www.allisonlamarronline.com) former Mary Kay National Sales Director, who set several records in Mary Kay. I realize, as I have now heard her story several times, that it's not the accolades that she has received that have inspired me. What inspires me is Allison's frankness about the whole notion of how to set goals and actually achieve them. When we set a goal for ourselves sometimes we are short sighted and set a huge goal without any planning or idea of how to get to the end. You see, Allison gave up mediocrity for a dream life, she got there by setting goals and planning. In order to reach the destination she had in mind, she had to plan each stepping stone that would eventually help her to arrive in her final, desired destination.


Shouldn't this planning be the same for you and I? I have set goals for the month of August in my business, I am setting plans in place on a daily basis to reach those goals and eventually, my dream life. That's what I want for sure! I have set up daily goals to get to where I want to be in 1, 5, 10, and 20 years...my end is in mind! What's even greater about the goals that I have set, is that I am building my own character and strength, without even realizing it! Goals can change you and can change the lives of those around you, just ask my husband!

I am just now, in four years of living in Colorado, starting to feel like I am settled and beginning to belong to a part of something bigger than myself. It delights my heart, makes me feel giddy inside like a little girl who has just received her first pair of dance shoes. For the first time, in a long time, I can truly say that I love my work, because it doesn't feel like work. I get to be a part of my community through volunteer opportunities, take my kids to school and volunteer in their classrooms, take part in some of the activities I love, and be whom I believe, the woman God intended for me to be in the very beginning before I was even a twinkle in my parents' eyes. I am working hard, but I love it! All because I have set goals for myself, I have a direction, and something VERY specific to shoot for!


My encouragement for you this week: set some goals for yourself for tomorrow, this week, this month, the rest of the year! Your life will change. I can't wait to hear back from you to hear what goals you have set, how you're getting there, and when you finally arrive! Don't forget to give them a deadline!



Until then...



Believe in Yourself, Be Extraordinary, Dream Big.



You can do it!



Stacey

Take a break.

Why is it that we have to go away on a 'vacation' to take a break? Why does it take a week to decompress and brain dump just to finally get to that relaxation point, and only a day to fill it back up with the worries of daily life? Why do we succumb to the 'rat race', pushing ourselves until we become burnt out or ill?
I grew up, especially in my college years, hearing my father say, "Stacey, stop and smell the roses." He is such a laid back man, easy going, I don't recall hearing anger or yelling often from this man. If my dad was upset, it came out even keeled and in a direct tone, I always knew I was in trouble when I heard that particular voice. I spent my college years and late 20's in the idea of keeping up with the Jones', get ahead now and maybe play later attitude. I had the world by the tail, nice house, 3 beautiful children, a good job, and a marriage that looked good on the outside, and thousands of dollars in debt. I am an overachiever, anyone in my family will tell you that statement is true. But, whom was I fooling? My cup was empty.
It wasn't until I decided to leave my job as an assistant manager at a big box retailer, making $57,000, a year to go back to teaching that I realized the importance of 'stopping to smell the roses'. I still think that even then I didn't quite get it, but was on the right track nonetheless. I was a single mom at the time, took a huge paycut to go back to teaching. I was happier, getting to spend more time with my kiddos, enjoying breaks and summer vacations. I got to play again. After all, who wants to be 60 and all grown up with that little kiddo boxed up somewhere in storage?
Since I left my 9-5 job, rather it left me, I am realizing even more opportunity to 'stop and smell the roses'. Seizing opportunities to relive some fantastic childhood memories and the amazingly, overwhelming playground in my backyard we call The Rockies. I am playing hard enjoying a relaxing stay at a lakeside motel, experiencing the energy, anticipation, and excitement of a sleepy lake town coming alive to celebrate our nation's birthday. Hoping some kind stranger will offer a circle or two around the lake on water skis. For the first time, in a long time, I finished a book, read a magazine or two, did a little bargain shopping, dipped my toes in the icy lake after a long hike to see some epic water falls in the backwoods. I actually sat for day, exceeded my sun limit, listened to the water slap against the shore, and the hum of boats moving up and down the lake. Ahhhhh, that is enough to lull you into a nap in miliseconds! I must say that taking a break with nowhere to be and nothing to do does a body good. I think it can be done even at home...you can even label it with the newest term of our economic times, 'staycation'. Lock your doors, turn of your phone, forget the laundry and house chores, pick up a good book from your local library. Reconnect with old friends, put together a scrapbook, stay in your jammies all day long. What are the desires of your heart when it comes to taking a break? What did you wish the last time you said, "When I have a day off, I will..."? What are you waiting for? Seize the moment, seize the day! Can I let you in on a little secret? Your laundry will be there tomorrow, so will the dusting, vacuuming, and dirty toilets. Guess what? They don't care!
Please, I urge you, to take a break. Ladies if that means time for yourself, do it, please. It will help you to be a better wife, mom, woman. Guys, you too. Parents, make a date night and stick to it, but be sure to keep with the rule, "you are not allowed to talk about your kids". What is your passion, what are the desires of your heart screaming for?/
Fill in the blank, if I had the time, I would... Go, take the time, do it. Finally, at this moment, is your glass half empty, or half full? Do you need a break?
Believe in yourself, Be Extraordinary, Dream Big....

Stacey

The beginning of the end . . .

or is it the beginning of the beginning? I must say that I have heard so many cliche phrases over the past month since I received my "you've been bumped" letter. Most often to the tune of, "When God closes a door, He opens a window." and "Blessing in disguise." I believe all to be true...but often times, it is so easy to say those cliches than to be living the change.


I have known public education at the secondary level for the past ten years, with the exception of a two year hiatus to try my hand at retail management. I found there that I love my family and the quality time with them much more than a large paycheck, thus, my return to teaching. Over the course of eight years, I served as a vocational/business/computer teacher in four different states. I have always thought I enjoyed teaching and coaching cheerleading, which I have received praises for because, "who wants to deal with all that drama?"

It happened, on my birthday, the dreaded conversation accompanied with a letter. All my career plans changed that day...did I mention it was my birthday? What a present! I do not mean that sarcastically, I mean it whole-heartedly. I did shed tears and was quite upset, because I received my letter on a Wednesday and still had to teach Thursday and Friday of that week. Some say, 'it's not the adversity that defines you, it's how you respond to that adversity that defines you'. I believe this is true, I can choose to mope and have a negative attitude, or pull myself up by my boot straps and come up with a new 'game plan'. I managed to maintain a mostly positive attitude, despite the fact that I got bumped by a tenured teacher in the district. I have other thoughts on that whole process, but we'll save that argument for another time. I would like to think that I exited gracefully, and as I packed my belongings and tore down my classroom, I had so many mixed emotions. Many of my students asked me why I was packing up, that is when I had to say that I was leaving. It was such a sad conversation, because my 7th graders will now have had three different computer teachers in their three years at this school. I will admit it was hard getting up that last month to go in to school and still actually teach, the positive in that, is that my principal recognized that I was still actually teaching the kids something rather than shutting down and letting them play for the last six weeks of school. I guess that says something for me and my professional integrity.

When leaving on that last teacher day, I will have to say I was sad to leave my colleagues, but quite excited for what lies ahead. I like to think that I am still teaching, but not in the conventional way that when someone says, 'teach' or 'teacher', they immediately think of a school building, a classroom, students, and difficult parents, and the ugliest word of all, assessments. Yep, I said it! No, I will be in various buildings or homes, in various places, but best of all, investing time in others and building meaningful relationships. Thus, the phrase, "enriching women's lives". This new journey has already proven to be challenging for me. I am not one to just step out, meet people, strike up conversations. I would like to think that I am being stretched beyond all boundaries and putting a different perspective on my life and how I live it. I would choose to say, "Extraordinary". It is amazing how, when you change your perspective on things, put a positive spin on it and find the best in it, regardless of how difficult your day was, that in the end, there is a bigger purpose.

I will say, that in the last month I have realized that I am extremely blessed. I think this is something I already knew, but extremely blessed even in the little things especially in an age of immediate gratification. When I say little things, I mean my dryer that has been broken for over a month, that has just been fixed. Now, this might seem HUGE to some of you especially for those of you who have multiple children who like to change their clothes what seems like a million times a day. Well, once I got over the emotional flood and could see straight again, I realized that we live in a very dry environment. Duh! Hang a clothes line and multiple loads can be dried in 30 minutes. You might wonder how this is a blessing? Our electric bill went down, AND I get to enjoy the outdoors for a few minutes while hanging clothes. We live in a relatively quiet neighborhood, so I am able to hear the songs of the birds, the occasional squirrel scamper up a tree, and the laughter of children. I am still using our clothes line for the bigger stuff to see if we can keep that bill down just a bit. A test in patience and the realization that making a mountain out of a mole hill wouldn't make our clothes dry any faster!

I am blessed with a husband who makes me a woman and a half. By this I mean, he has been extremely supportive in my business adventure in whatever ways that he can. The best part is when I start talking about different types of make up and he just smiles and nods, listening all the while. Then he gives me business ideas, makes comparisons so that he can relate, and even will attend my business events with me. I love him for that!

I will leave you with this question, one we have heard often, but I think we often need to ask ourselves when facing each day. How is your glass today? Half empty or half full?

Believe in Yourself, Be Extraordinary, Dream Big...

Stacey